Blog Post
This...
- By Ryan Sheehy
- •
- 12 Jan, 2016
- •
This is exactly why I'm blogging.
No not because of John Stamos.....not directly anyway. Don't get me wrong, he is dreamy and all....
But not the reason for this post.
It's actually regarding an article about what he went through after the passing of his mom. DUI, Arrest, Rehab....you know, the whole works.
His mother passed away in September of 2014 (Mine in January of 2014) and the following June he was pulled over and arrested on Suspicion of DUI. He immediately checked into rehab shortly after.
He explained in the article that he called a friend while in rehab who said, ‘You know I want to tell you something.’ Stamos said, ‘Yeah’ and he said, ‘The last time I talked to your mom before she died, she called me and said, “I’m worried about Johnny.”’ And it sort of broke my heart,” Stamos recounted.
That last part is the heart breaking part for me. I'm sure hearing it while he was in rehab was heart breaking but from my end, reading that it was said by his mom to one of his friends LONG before rehab ever came into the picture is the heart breaking part.
Why do we turn away from these things so very obvious in front of us. I know for us personally it may feel easier but if we TRULY cared about these people we'd at least talk to them and try to help them. Beyond that (from personally experience) I know that the true help only lies within them. You can't force these people to receive the help, you can only make them aware of the issue at hand.
The sad part is, some just don't want to see it until its too late (both parties involved). Having experienced this first hand with people I know, all you can do as the bystander is express your concerns or actually hold an intervention. From there, you've done all you can.
The difficult part for you at that point is preventing yourself from engaging with said individuals and watching them spiral downward.
I'm afraid there is no right answer in these situations.
My hope is that these individuals who go through this could begin to heal & recognize what is happening. That they could realize themselves that they are not allowing themselves to heal.
As I posted previously, after the loss of my mom I drifted in a daze for months. Luckily I was able to realize it and get myself out of it (more in depth than I'm portraying obviously). Look I get it men, we grow up wanting to be "men". We watch movies with Heroes and Tough Guys, Super Men etc etc etc...we grow up wanting be all of it and more. For many of us we come to a few conclusions about being a man....
1) Suck it up, pain is weakness
2) Men don't cry
3) Must be strong during difficult times for others
I'm sure I could come up with more but these specifically stand out to me...
SUCK IT UP......drives me nuts. Granted growing up playing sports I learned to play through some things (others not so much) and I didn't mind it looking back. That said, because of that mentality, I know for a fact based on remembering my symptoms, I practiced a full practice with a concussion AND drove myself home from practice. Told no one and went to bed.....
That's not tough, it's dumb and MOST importantly, irresponsible for us to teach our boys to grow up becoming these "men". It literally could get them killed (and I'm sure has).
The second one, Men don't cry. HOLY CRAP this one drives me nuts. Why does NOT showing emotion make you a man. I think this just brings you further away from embracing what you are, a HUMAN. Humans are what they are because unlike all other known species on this planet, we know for a fact that humans feel emotions. They can also express them. Communicate them. This is a gift and we try to hide from it? STOP....embrace your emotions. Be one with yourself. Until then you'll never find peace.
The final one I mentioned. Must be strong during difficulty times....guilty as charged. Not because I was trying to show how much of a man I am but just because when we lost my mom I felt like I needed to be. I knew I would have my time to cry (turns out it would be when I was alone, a lot of the time. NOT RECOMMENDED). I tried to stay tall & firm during the whole process. Looking back, I don't know why but I now know I paid the price for a period of time.
Just like John Stamos did. Look, I'm not saying I have all the right answers. All I'm saying is that I can clearly identify some of the wrong ones.
It's time for us to break the mold. Time to start thinking for ourselves and redefining what it means to be a man.
Real Men Feel, Love, Express Emotion, Cry if needed and embrace pain regularly (Physically & Emotionally), not avoid it.
Why? For me, it reminds me that first I am Human and second (To me Most important) that I am in fact, ALIVE.
I enjoy being here and embrace the reminders (good & bad) whenever possible. I suggest you give it a whirl sometime.
John Stamos Article on Yahoo:
https://www.yahoo.com/celebrity/john-stamos-opens-up-about-dui-arrest-and-rehab-171905979.html
But not the reason for this post.
It's actually regarding an article about what he went through after the passing of his mom. DUI, Arrest, Rehab....you know, the whole works.
His mother passed away in September of 2014 (Mine in January of 2014) and the following June he was pulled over and arrested on Suspicion of DUI. He immediately checked into rehab shortly after.
He explained in the article that he called a friend while in rehab who said, ‘You know I want to tell you something.’ Stamos said, ‘Yeah’ and he said, ‘The last time I talked to your mom before she died, she called me and said, “I’m worried about Johnny.”’ And it sort of broke my heart,” Stamos recounted.
That last part is the heart breaking part for me. I'm sure hearing it while he was in rehab was heart breaking but from my end, reading that it was said by his mom to one of his friends LONG before rehab ever came into the picture is the heart breaking part.
Why do we turn away from these things so very obvious in front of us. I know for us personally it may feel easier but if we TRULY cared about these people we'd at least talk to them and try to help them. Beyond that (from personally experience) I know that the true help only lies within them. You can't force these people to receive the help, you can only make them aware of the issue at hand.
The sad part is, some just don't want to see it until its too late (both parties involved). Having experienced this first hand with people I know, all you can do as the bystander is express your concerns or actually hold an intervention. From there, you've done all you can.
The difficult part for you at that point is preventing yourself from engaging with said individuals and watching them spiral downward.
I'm afraid there is no right answer in these situations.
My hope is that these individuals who go through this could begin to heal & recognize what is happening. That they could realize themselves that they are not allowing themselves to heal.
As I posted previously, after the loss of my mom I drifted in a daze for months. Luckily I was able to realize it and get myself out of it (more in depth than I'm portraying obviously). Look I get it men, we grow up wanting to be "men". We watch movies with Heroes and Tough Guys, Super Men etc etc etc...we grow up wanting be all of it and more. For many of us we come to a few conclusions about being a man....
1) Suck it up, pain is weakness
2) Men don't cry
3) Must be strong during difficult times for others
I'm sure I could come up with more but these specifically stand out to me...
SUCK IT UP......drives me nuts. Granted growing up playing sports I learned to play through some things (others not so much) and I didn't mind it looking back. That said, because of that mentality, I know for a fact based on remembering my symptoms, I practiced a full practice with a concussion AND drove myself home from practice. Told no one and went to bed.....
That's not tough, it's dumb and MOST importantly, irresponsible for us to teach our boys to grow up becoming these "men". It literally could get them killed (and I'm sure has).
The second one, Men don't cry. HOLY CRAP this one drives me nuts. Why does NOT showing emotion make you a man. I think this just brings you further away from embracing what you are, a HUMAN. Humans are what they are because unlike all other known species on this planet, we know for a fact that humans feel emotions. They can also express them. Communicate them. This is a gift and we try to hide from it? STOP....embrace your emotions. Be one with yourself. Until then you'll never find peace.
The final one I mentioned. Must be strong during difficulty times....guilty as charged. Not because I was trying to show how much of a man I am but just because when we lost my mom I felt like I needed to be. I knew I would have my time to cry (turns out it would be when I was alone, a lot of the time. NOT RECOMMENDED). I tried to stay tall & firm during the whole process. Looking back, I don't know why but I now know I paid the price for a period of time.
Just like John Stamos did. Look, I'm not saying I have all the right answers. All I'm saying is that I can clearly identify some of the wrong ones.
It's time for us to break the mold. Time to start thinking for ourselves and redefining what it means to be a man.
Real Men Feel, Love, Express Emotion, Cry if needed and embrace pain regularly (Physically & Emotionally), not avoid it.
Why? For me, it reminds me that first I am Human and second (To me Most important) that I am in fact, ALIVE.
I enjoy being here and embrace the reminders (good & bad) whenever possible. I suggest you give it a whirl sometime.
John Stamos Article on Yahoo:
https://www.yahoo.com/celebrity/john-stamos-opens-up-about-dui-arrest-and-rehab-171905979.html