Blog Post
I'm going to start us off hard and fast...
- By Ryan Sheehy
- •
- 22 Dec, 2015
- •
Buckle up because we're diving in. (Fair warning to all, lots of swearing, Star Wars & General Movie quotes [See Above] and ramblings ahead)
MENTAL HEALTH and THE UGLY TRUTH.
Now before I dive in, let me just throw it out there for all to hear...I'm not a mental health professional nor do I claim to be one in any way shape or form.
I'm simply a fellow human who has been through some shit (like we all have) throughout his life and is tired of people avoiding the Mental Health topic like it's a fucking plague OR doesn't even it exist....
First, it's real as the oxygen we breath and the ground we walk on so wake the FUCK UP people. Mental Health is clearly an issue and it's not new.
I've learned a lot over the years as to why there are so many stigmas & fears with this topic. Some of the things I learned my mom told me about from her experiences growing up and I then have since personally read & researched from a ton from the past and it is just fucking frightening. NO WONDER people years past didn't want to come out and talk about their problems. It wasn't just a fear of being institutionalized and being put in a straight jacket, it was the SHIT BEHIND the scenes that they did to you that no one wanted to experience and then even worse, be shamed & ridiculed if you ever got released from those places....
LOOK IT UP YOURSELF.....don't just take my word for it. Click the link below and find out for yourself "THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING.....PLEASE REMAIN SEATED AND FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELTS.....SHIT IS ABOUT TO GET REAL"
http://www.everydayhealth.com/pictures/worst-mental-health-treatments-history/
Ok, so hopefully you've come back to me after that quick trip down a dark memory lane. So there's that and a whole lot more out there.....so generations before had that to look forward to if they tried to open their mouth and voice their issues/frustration/general life concerns aloud.
I only discovered some of this due to conversations I've had with my mother over the years. Although brief and never as in depth as I would have liked, she'd tell me about seeing/hearing her mom or other family members and their dealings with Mental Health from how they were treated and looked at by people to the treatments some of them experience.... to what they became years later. Looking back at everything my mom went through even with some of the limited things that I actually know about her life before I was born and it's no wonder people kept things to themselves and bottled it all up.
The point to all of the above is that first, people are treated today the same way. Meaning by people (opinions, thoughts, feelings etc...someone asks for help or has any "mental issues" they're looked at like an outsider, a curse to society. Great, electric shock "therapy" and other various methods we could list aren't used anymore. So great, the treatment isn't the same BUT is it? Has it just changed to different versions of the same old. From a first person WITNESS perspective, thinking back to the things my mom told me about growing up and seeing what she saw and then having lived through variations of my own. I personally don't see how it's gotten that much better if at all.
Again, I'm not a professional in this field and any medical professional educated & trained in the field can chime in to share their professionally backed opinions on this (I love that people can do that because we live in a free country and we're allowed to voice ourselves). From my view point though, my opinion hasn't changed and based on what I see in the news, in many cases, things have got a LOT worse.
See, for me, this Mental Health quest started long before I even realized it would be of interest to me. Growing up I experienced things that would stay with me for the rest of my life. I've just chosen to take them for what they are (to me), life lessons to better myself by and use them as a tool to break the cycle of previous years & generations before me.
See I grew up the child of a diagnosed depressed individual who from, my memory, was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder but there honestly were probably a few pieces to that pie. I look back and although I don't blame myself for my moms struggles as they started long before I ever existed, I do think some days "What if I just spoke up a little louder & firmer?". Could I have done more? Maybe I was subconsciously directed to not speak up during those year as I've since realized my mom was very protective of me in many ways.
I know now deep down that she was partly worried that I may have the same struggles as she did and that like her, they'd compound themselves and get worse as time went on and yet, at the same time I think she really knew who I was (more than I even did) even at a young age. I've realized that by looking back in my life I was always JUST a little different from my parents and as I got older, it became more evident to me. Don't get me wrong, I am VERY much my parents both physically and mentally.
The difference is the decision I made a long time ago to break a cycle and do my damnedest every day to improve upon that the best I can. The next step for me is this blog and the writing I plan to do around this entire topic (and many others).
Understand that I will get very personal at times and if you don't think that is appropriate then I highly recommend you turn away and don't come back. If you however want to open your mind to the possibility of not being afraid of your mental health, then stick around for this ride. Embrace opening your mind to the possibilities of a society where it isn't a topic of taboo and instead an open forum for people to be human and actually use the feelings that they were given and then learn how to manage & utilize them in the right ways.
At this point I've only hinted at my history and dealing throughout my life and you're probably finding yourself wondering again at this point "Why. Why should I be listening to this individual about this stuff?". You may even (Ironically) be thinking, "This shit is depressing, why would I want to force myself to read a BLOG ABOUT THIS SHIT."......
The real question you should be asking yourself, is what brought you here in the first place. Something down deep calls out to you to (don't worry, I'm not getting all Use The Force/Star Warsy here), something for you to open up to your humanity and to finally take a long, giant step towards growing your inner & outer self.
Why me? You ask... Because, I, like my mother before me, have had my struggles. Deeper and darker than most would know and 20 years ago this coming summer, I had a close call. . .
I'll explain in short below & more in a future post but I got to such a place where I would go to bed every night wishing that I had never existed, convinced that this world would be a much better place without me in it and that the lives of my parents and the many others would be SOOO much better off without me.
For me, this has been hard because at times I have strongly agreed with others that suicide is an extremely selfish thing to do and that I can't feel bad for those individuals who make a decision like that. Those feelings/thoughts stem more from my experience personally with the topic through loved ones and my own personal experience. I had a lot of mixed emotions & feelings towards the topic but have finally reached a point where I think my opinion is formulated where I now have a much better understanding of the topic. Both personally and externally.
You see (Briefly touching the tip of this iceberg before I end this post), I almost (obviously almost, I'm writing this) ended it all 20 years ago this coming summer. I'll explain more in another post diving deep into this personal experience.
When I REALLY took a deep look back at that time in my life I now realize that it wasn't selfish. It was completely selfless (don't misinterpret this either, not looking for a pat on the back, just for others to look at this from a different perspective). You see when someone REALLY gets to the suicide solution (at least in my personal case) they are typically convinced 100% that they are doing the people in their life a favor. YES, you read that correctly.
You see, when someone is going through these dark, hard, heavy times, it can be very lonely (I get it, no one enjoys being around depressed people) and frightening. To come to the realization that you are in fact worthless and that this world would be better off without you in it is an awakening I hope many never have to experience.
The point is here, and I'll leave you with this to ponder, is that Depression (or Suicide for that matter) isn't selfish, it's very much selfless. What's selfish is the rest of us ignoring the Mental Health issue altogether and treating it like taboo when it is something that has and will affect ALL of us, if not already, at some point in our lives.
SO again, please people, WAKE UP. I guarantee you know someone who has, is or will be going through this in some way shape or form (the severity of it DOES NOT FUCKING MATTER, MY/YOUR/SOMEONE ELSE'S DEPRESSION ISN'T ANY MORE OR LESS IMPORTANT THAN THE NEXT PERSONS INCLUDING YOURS). SO WAKE UP, be there for the people you care about. I understand it is hard to talk to someone about their troubles, difficulties, their struggles specifically when they continue to do the same thing over and over again. Well my advice...
SHUT IT (Your mouth that is). Listening is a much more powerful tool for people in need, so use those two ears and do some good in this world.
Who knows, the person who needs someone to listen to them tomorrow.....
MENTAL HEALTH and THE UGLY TRUTH.
Now before I dive in, let me just throw it out there for all to hear...I'm not a mental health professional nor do I claim to be one in any way shape or form.
I'm simply a fellow human who has been through some shit (like we all have) throughout his life and is tired of people avoiding the Mental Health topic like it's a fucking plague OR doesn't even it exist....
First, it's real as the oxygen we breath and the ground we walk on so wake the FUCK UP people. Mental Health is clearly an issue and it's not new.
I've learned a lot over the years as to why there are so many stigmas & fears with this topic. Some of the things I learned my mom told me about from her experiences growing up and I then have since personally read & researched from a ton from the past and it is just fucking frightening. NO WONDER people years past didn't want to come out and talk about their problems. It wasn't just a fear of being institutionalized and being put in a straight jacket, it was the SHIT BEHIND the scenes that they did to you that no one wanted to experience and then even worse, be shamed & ridiculed if you ever got released from those places....
LOOK IT UP YOURSELF.....don't just take my word for it. Click the link below and find out for yourself "THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING.....PLEASE REMAIN SEATED AND FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELTS.....SHIT IS ABOUT TO GET REAL"
http://www.everydayhealth.com/pictures/worst-mental-health-treatments-history/
Ok, so hopefully you've come back to me after that quick trip down a dark memory lane. So there's that and a whole lot more out there.....so generations before had that to look forward to if they tried to open their mouth and voice their issues/frustration/general life concerns aloud.
I only discovered some of this due to conversations I've had with my mother over the years. Although brief and never as in depth as I would have liked, she'd tell me about seeing/hearing her mom or other family members and their dealings with Mental Health from how they were treated and looked at by people to the treatments some of them experience.... to what they became years later. Looking back at everything my mom went through even with some of the limited things that I actually know about her life before I was born and it's no wonder people kept things to themselves and bottled it all up.
The point to all of the above is that first, people are treated today the same way. Meaning by people (opinions, thoughts, feelings etc...someone asks for help or has any "mental issues" they're looked at like an outsider, a curse to society. Great, electric shock "therapy" and other various methods we could list aren't used anymore. So great, the treatment isn't the same BUT is it? Has it just changed to different versions of the same old. From a first person WITNESS perspective, thinking back to the things my mom told me about growing up and seeing what she saw and then having lived through variations of my own. I personally don't see how it's gotten that much better if at all.
Again, I'm not a professional in this field and any medical professional educated & trained in the field can chime in to share their professionally backed opinions on this (I love that people can do that because we live in a free country and we're allowed to voice ourselves). From my view point though, my opinion hasn't changed and based on what I see in the news, in many cases, things have got a LOT worse.
See, for me, this Mental Health quest started long before I even realized it would be of interest to me. Growing up I experienced things that would stay with me for the rest of my life. I've just chosen to take them for what they are (to me), life lessons to better myself by and use them as a tool to break the cycle of previous years & generations before me.
See I grew up the child of a diagnosed depressed individual who from, my memory, was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder but there honestly were probably a few pieces to that pie. I look back and although I don't blame myself for my moms struggles as they started long before I ever existed, I do think some days "What if I just spoke up a little louder & firmer?". Could I have done more? Maybe I was subconsciously directed to not speak up during those year as I've since realized my mom was very protective of me in many ways.
I know now deep down that she was partly worried that I may have the same struggles as she did and that like her, they'd compound themselves and get worse as time went on and yet, at the same time I think she really knew who I was (more than I even did) even at a young age. I've realized that by looking back in my life I was always JUST a little different from my parents and as I got older, it became more evident to me. Don't get me wrong, I am VERY much my parents both physically and mentally.
The difference is the decision I made a long time ago to break a cycle and do my damnedest every day to improve upon that the best I can. The next step for me is this blog and the writing I plan to do around this entire topic (and many others).
Understand that I will get very personal at times and if you don't think that is appropriate then I highly recommend you turn away and don't come back. If you however want to open your mind to the possibility of not being afraid of your mental health, then stick around for this ride. Embrace opening your mind to the possibilities of a society where it isn't a topic of taboo and instead an open forum for people to be human and actually use the feelings that they were given and then learn how to manage & utilize them in the right ways.
At this point I've only hinted at my history and dealing throughout my life and you're probably finding yourself wondering again at this point "Why. Why should I be listening to this individual about this stuff?". You may even (Ironically) be thinking, "This shit is depressing, why would I want to force myself to read a BLOG ABOUT THIS SHIT."......
The real question you should be asking yourself, is what brought you here in the first place. Something down deep calls out to you to (don't worry, I'm not getting all Use The Force/Star Warsy here), something for you to open up to your humanity and to finally take a long, giant step towards growing your inner & outer self.
Why me? You ask... Because, I, like my mother before me, have had my struggles. Deeper and darker than most would know and 20 years ago this coming summer, I had a close call. . .
I'll explain in short below & more in a future post but I got to such a place where I would go to bed every night wishing that I had never existed, convinced that this world would be a much better place without me in it and that the lives of my parents and the many others would be SOOO much better off without me.
For me, this has been hard because at times I have strongly agreed with others that suicide is an extremely selfish thing to do and that I can't feel bad for those individuals who make a decision like that. Those feelings/thoughts stem more from my experience personally with the topic through loved ones and my own personal experience. I had a lot of mixed emotions & feelings towards the topic but have finally reached a point where I think my opinion is formulated where I now have a much better understanding of the topic. Both personally and externally.
You see (Briefly touching the tip of this iceberg before I end this post), I almost (obviously almost, I'm writing this) ended it all 20 years ago this coming summer. I'll explain more in another post diving deep into this personal experience.
When I REALLY took a deep look back at that time in my life I now realize that it wasn't selfish. It was completely selfless (don't misinterpret this either, not looking for a pat on the back, just for others to look at this from a different perspective). You see when someone REALLY gets to the suicide solution (at least in my personal case) they are typically convinced 100% that they are doing the people in their life a favor. YES, you read that correctly.
You see, when someone is going through these dark, hard, heavy times, it can be very lonely (I get it, no one enjoys being around depressed people) and frightening. To come to the realization that you are in fact worthless and that this world would be better off without you in it is an awakening I hope many never have to experience.
The point is here, and I'll leave you with this to ponder, is that Depression (or Suicide for that matter) isn't selfish, it's very much selfless. What's selfish is the rest of us ignoring the Mental Health issue altogether and treating it like taboo when it is something that has and will affect ALL of us, if not already, at some point in our lives.
SO again, please people, WAKE UP. I guarantee you know someone who has, is or will be going through this in some way shape or form (the severity of it DOES NOT FUCKING MATTER, MY/YOUR/SOMEONE ELSE'S DEPRESSION ISN'T ANY MORE OR LESS IMPORTANT THAN THE NEXT PERSONS INCLUDING YOURS). SO WAKE UP, be there for the people you care about. I understand it is hard to talk to someone about their troubles, difficulties, their struggles specifically when they continue to do the same thing over and over again. Well my advice...
SHUT IT (Your mouth that is). Listening is a much more powerful tool for people in need, so use those two ears and do some good in this world.
Who knows, the person who needs someone to listen to them tomorrow.....
May just be you.