Blog Post
What's with the name of your blog?
- By Ryan Sheehy
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- 24 Dec, 2015
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I figured I should put this out there at some point. Why my blog is named "My Ray of Sunshine". Not exactly something you'd peg a male to gravitate towards when it comes to naming anything, never mind a public blog. But thats one thing you'll learn about me fairly quick, I don't care. I am who I am and don't mind throwing it out there. Take it or leave it.
Which is why I didn't hesitate at the name. You see, my moms nickname to many was Sunshine. I wear a custom white plastic band around my right wrist that has Sunshine engraved in it. We purchased those years ago when my mom was first diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung & Brain Cancer. Hasn't left my wrist since.
Let me back up a bit. I really believed that she could & would beat it. She was diagnosed in September of 2010. It was about 5-6 months after my (now wife) and I had got engaged and we were all so excited and happy. Then I got a phone call while I was in Albany NY for work. It was my dad, my mom was in the hospital. They almost lost her a couple times, she had fluid around her heart and they didn't know why. They drained it and stabilized her. I immediately went to my hotel, threw my stuff together in my luggage and hit the road.
I arrived at the hospital in about 4 hours and the following couple weeks were a blur until the night we had dinner. My fiance and I sat down to dinner at my parents house because they had news to tell us.
The doctors informed my parents that she has cancer. Stage 4 lung & brain. I remember immediately grabbing my moms hand and telling her we'd get through it. That WE would beat it. I never shed a tear. Tried my damnedest to be strong for her.
Maybe 5 minutes down the road into our drive home, I had to pull over. I immediately broke down into Tiff's shoulder. I don't remember how long, I don't remember what I said if anything. I just remember hurting. We moved up our wedding date from September of 2011 to June. We didn't really know how my mom would take to the treatments and if the 3 months would even help but we did it anyway.
Which is why I didn't hesitate at the name. You see, my moms nickname to many was Sunshine. I wear a custom white plastic band around my right wrist that has Sunshine engraved in it. We purchased those years ago when my mom was first diagnosed with Stage 4 Lung & Brain Cancer. Hasn't left my wrist since.
Let me back up a bit. I really believed that she could & would beat it. She was diagnosed in September of 2010. It was about 5-6 months after my (now wife) and I had got engaged and we were all so excited and happy. Then I got a phone call while I was in Albany NY for work. It was my dad, my mom was in the hospital. They almost lost her a couple times, she had fluid around her heart and they didn't know why. They drained it and stabilized her. I immediately went to my hotel, threw my stuff together in my luggage and hit the road.
I arrived at the hospital in about 4 hours and the following couple weeks were a blur until the night we had dinner. My fiance and I sat down to dinner at my parents house because they had news to tell us.
The doctors informed my parents that she has cancer. Stage 4 lung & brain. I remember immediately grabbing my moms hand and telling her we'd get through it. That WE would beat it. I never shed a tear. Tried my damnedest to be strong for her.
Maybe 5 minutes down the road into our drive home, I had to pull over. I immediately broke down into Tiff's shoulder. I don't remember how long, I don't remember what I said if anything. I just remember hurting. We moved up our wedding date from September of 2011 to June. We didn't really know how my mom would take to the treatments and if the 3 months would even help but we did it anyway.
June 3rd, 2011 couldn't come soon enough (for multiple reasons, I couldn't wait to marry my love). The day came, my mom was there for it all. Beaming with joy throughout the day. A good cry during our Mother/Son dance. Simple Man by Lynyrd Skynyrd. It was a song she made me listen to when I was young. The song didn't really impact me until this moment when the words finally set in with me. The song is something I carry with me every day, it makes me feel like I still speak with her.
We were extremely blessed that she was able to see her only child get married. It continued on for about 2 and half more years. She was able to meet her first grandchild (Granddaughter Olivia). She was around for her first birthday and then in January of 2014 after 3 and a half years of battling, succumb to the terrible disease.
Do I miss her? Every day. Literally every day. It may be first thing in the morning, it could be while I take a break at work, maybe while I'm playing with Olivia (now 3) or her grandson Kellan (almost 1). We were blessed that we got the time we had together before her passing.
I want just a little more. I want to see her hold my son. I want to hear her voice one last time.
So I talk to her every day. I cry once in a while just because.
I started this blog and named it after her because she was the sunshine for many and I feel that this blog could be my little ray of sunshine that I'm able to bottle up and share with others. Some days will be darker than others but you'll always be able to see the light hidden amongst the darkness. I hope this blog will show you how to always see the light and I feel my mom will be helping guide me along the way.
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.
We were extremely blessed that she was able to see her only child get married. It continued on for about 2 and half more years. She was able to meet her first grandchild (Granddaughter Olivia). She was around for her first birthday and then in January of 2014 after 3 and a half years of battling, succumb to the terrible disease.
Do I miss her? Every day. Literally every day. It may be first thing in the morning, it could be while I take a break at work, maybe while I'm playing with Olivia (now 3) or her grandson Kellan (almost 1). We were blessed that we got the time we had together before her passing.
I want just a little more. I want to see her hold my son. I want to hear her voice one last time.
So I talk to her every day. I cry once in a while just because.
I started this blog and named it after her because she was the sunshine for many and I feel that this blog could be my little ray of sunshine that I'm able to bottle up and share with others. Some days will be darker than others but you'll always be able to see the light hidden amongst the darkness. I hope this blog will show you how to always see the light and I feel my mom will be helping guide me along the way.
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.